Tuesday, September 27, 2011

KEEP YOU’RE FRIENDS CLOSE BUT YOU’RE ENEMIES CLOSER




OK, So back to XXX & me, Mr. Boston and our company.

Mr. Boston and I were now the owners and operators of a fully fledged XXX production company called “GANKSTA

Films” - we just had NO office or a mailing address - so we used my personal address and or our Attorney’s office and we would hold meetings at “The Roosevelt” which is where Mr. Boston always stayed NO matter what - If Mr. Boston was in Los Angeles - he had a sweet at “The Roosevelt” no matter what, I guess you could say that’s just how he rolled, in retrospect it was such a waste of capital but you know what? I wasn’t bankrolling any of it - so fuck it.

Plus we’ve NOW recruited or rather - we’ve stolen - one of the BEST XXX wrangler’s in the BIZ as our potential third partner, he was also one hell of a number’s cruncher - he knew just about everyone in the industry and with his connections we would be set. You’re probably asking what in the hell is a wrangler? It’s just XXX lingo for a “PRODUCER” or a production manager or both - I didn’t know what a wrangler was either until my buddy. The XXX super agent who also fucked me over every which way but loose asks me and Mr. Boston, “So you two have a wrangler, right? Because if you guys don’t, you NEED one, let me make a call, I have a buddy, he’s a wrangler, I’m not even sure if we can get him for you guys, his name is WAX. Yeah, WAX, one hell of a wrangler - they should have called it the strangler, and one seriously TWO faced cock-sucking mother-fucker.

We actually stole him from Tera Patrick's company - and we should have known better. When people aren’t loyal to the people they’re with - Fuck ME with a chainsaw if you think that same person is going to somehow be honest and loyal with you...

We got a few OK’s from various friends saying “WAX” was WELL worth his weight in gold and just having him on board would open a tremendous amount of doors for us. So, WAX was now part of the team and although I had those feelings in the back of my head - that feeling you get when you get with a girl who broke up with another dude to be with you - and you know it’s only a matter of time before she’s going to screw you the same way she screwed the guy she left - to be with you, that’s how I felt about "WAX" and I was right. I’ve been working in LEGIT Hollywood long enough to know when it, he or she seems to good to be true it, he or she is to good to be true.

So, now it was time for me to shoot and direct my 1st XXX scene. WAX was producing and Mr. Boston would not be on set - he had stuff to take care of in Boston. We scored the girl I wanted - A girl who was on the verge of becoming a MEGA xxx super-star and she did - but then all the do’s and don’t’s came into play - she won’t work with this guy, she won’t do bareback, she won’t do this and she won't do that and on and on we go with her agent - that same sleazy buddy of mine who hooked us up with WAX...

I say the same thing Mr. Boston says, Well is it money? Of course it’s money, it's always money, in Hollywood, in the XXX game - it's always money. So, if we pay her yada yada as opposed to yada yada then we get a yes and another yes, right? Her agent says, my buddy and SUPER pal, says to us, that would be a yes.

Her agent & my friend - what a friend huh - that saying, "KEEP YOU’RE FRIENDS CLOSE BUT YOU’RE ENEMIES CLOSER" couldn’t have been more on money.

WAX get’s one of the BEST cinematographer’s in the game to shoot the scene and we told him that it was my VERY 1st XXX scene but I knew what I was doing - all the cinematographer had to do was basically walk me through the scene - I was capable of writing, directing and shooting either A-camera or B-camera and I was able to tell MY TALENT what I wanted her to do END OF STORY - no big deal, right?...

I just wanted a guarantee from WAX that this cinematographer new from the get-go that No-matter what I did, and no matter what this cinematographer did - he was there to help me and that was that - the scene was going to be directed and shot by RAY LAZER. And this seasoned vet needed to know that the finished product would be a RAY LAZER scene, WAX of course gave me every assurance that we were all on the SAME PAGE with this.

In the end - months and months later, this ended up NOT being the case and when WAX was asked about my specific participation in the scene - WAX said, Ray shot B-cam ONLY, he did not direct the scene, he did not shoot the scene - he helped out a little bit by shooting some B-cam stuff.

That motherfucking lying cock-sucker!

FADE OUT:


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The how in the hell did I ever get here story




I've known one of these guys since I was seven years old - he went to one of the best universities in the world -- we grew up together - he then went to a rather elite college and in between college and graduate school -- he get's an agent for the summer - to see what might happen - he's in L.A. for the summer - so he figures - what the hell?...

He ends up getting 3 national commercials in less than 5 weeks and ends up in "Saving Private Ryan" - Talk about - Right place - Right time. He's the nicest guy in the world. Meaning, I’m not talking about some fucking asshole dick bag who came to L.A. and got this amazing streak of good luck.

I call him and say, “I’m moving to L.A. and I need a place to stay until I get situated. He's like, come on out - I’m living in the Hollywood Hill’s with 3 model’s, I'm renting the guest house, it's small but what’s mine is yours - I still feel like I owe this friend of mine and I will owe him forever, he’s just one of those people who gets it, who got it - he did then - and he does now - and the proof is in the pudding - He ended up never working another job besides acting work from the time he got those commercials until present day - He’s been in his fare share of movies and I hear his voice all the time - and he’s still just a great guy. He has 2 children now and he's an amazing father - Maybe if I looked like a Ralph Lauren model - I would have had the same luck as him but you know what, I doubt it...

What happened to him doesn’t happen, it’s like winning the lottery or getting struck by lightening a few times in succession. It just doesn’t happen!

But it did for him and I can honestly say that I have nothing but complete happiness for him with regard to his success and I always will. Like I said, he’s just one of those people who deserved it and does deserve everything that’s come his way.

Living with him led to some crazy times in Hollywood for he and I both.


TO BE CONTINUED:

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The information contained in this electronic blog and any attachments to this blog may contain confidential or privileged information. If you are not the intended recipient, or the person responsible for writing this blog, any use, dissemination, forwarding, printing, or copying is strictly prohibited. Any and all information written in this blog is owned by the author of this blog.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

The Face Smack chick Story





11:PM - We pull up to “Le Deux” and valets were looming by the entrance with a few faux paparazzi, “TMZ” sorta paparazzi buzzing around; just waiting to capture Rock stars, XXX stars, reality TV personalities and a smattering of B+ Lister's strictly there for pussy. One of the things I truly detest about Hollywood is - the whole getting into these stupid things. Mr. Boston, “Slippy” who was now a rising VH1 “Rehab” star although in his own mind he was an indisputable punk-rapper supernatural being. The party was in full swing as we slid through the entrance relatively unscathed until Slippy had his chance to mug for the paparazzi – if the cameras were rolling & flashing - for Slippy - it was like putting cocaine in front of Tony Montana.


11:08PM – Slippy is done with promoting his relapses to the faux paparazzi and “TMZ” – we’re all inside and “Le Deux” is a very undersized and compressed place – not very um… user friendly...

11:11PM – Slippy was the most well-known person at the party so far – not a good sign...
It was a contest between Slippy, a slew of XXX personalities some MTV reality people I did not know, the entourage from D-12 with the exception of Eminem, and a few other scrubs.

11:45PM - Brody Jenner shows up with a buncha those dumb Reality idiot's in tow and then I see one of my favorite people in XXX: Let's just call him “Lovin Head” – He’s a XXX director and all around nut bag – he is absolutely insipid and in my eyes – fucking awesome! “Lovin Head” loves drinking, guns and choking women in public venues like “Le Deux”…

11:49PM - “Lovin Head” was off and running - I could see that he had a throng of forward-thinking XXX chicks with him and once he starts drinking – all bets are off – somewhere along the way - I then lost sight of them both - Slippy & Mr. Boston – So, I start head over to “Lovin Head” and his crew…

1:07AM – Out of 3 forward-thinking XXX chicks with “Loving Head” that night - One of them who will remain nameless but I will never forget her for the rest of my life – Mr. Boston and I have called her the “FACE SMACK” chick ever since…

1:11AM – “Lovin Head” has now been drinking for a few hours plus whatever else and he’s carved out his own VIP section in the corner - he tends to do that No matter where he is and he's showing off the “FACE SMACK” chick – She was actually VERY attractive with a perfect body! - The NO silicone zone - quite rare for L.A. let alone the XXX game.

1:12AM - “Lovin Head” is behind the “FACE SMACK” chick with his hands around her throat and he asks me to slap her across the face. I’m not really sure how to take the question until I see a buddy of his smack her in the face – it was a shockingly firm SMACK – directly across her face – and she loved it!

1:17AM - “Lovin Head” is still behind my beloved “FACE SMACK” chick with his hands around her throat – Slippy & Mr. Boston have now joined up with me and “Lovin Head's ” inner-circle and we are all sort of mesmerized - “Lovin Head” always had a way about talking charge of situations and basically directing "LIVE" subject matter in public. HE FUCKING LOVED IT!


1:27AM - “Lovin Head” is still behind the “FACE SMACK” chick- he now has his hands around her head – Mr. Boston gives this check a “SERIOUS” smack across the face and she says, "I'm getting wet now." I was sort of afraid that I could possibly be prosecuted for hitting a woman in public like this but “Lovin Head” insisted and so did the “FACE SMACK” chick


1:28AM – I slap her across the face and she tells me, “That was weak as Mr. Boston comes around from behind and gives this chick the MOST “WANTON” whack across the face yet again – her face swerved from the sheer velocity of Mr. Boston’s FULL-ON FACE SMACK and once again - she says - how WET she’s getting - and this is why she can’t do porn anymore – because NO guy’s can be rough enough with her…

1:37AM – At least 15 different guys smacked her basically as hard as they could and she just could NOT get enough of it – Mr. Boston and I were awestruck, mesmerized and fascinated with this “FACE SMACK” chick and we decided that we wanted to sign her exclusively to our XXX company ASAP.

TO BE CONTINUED:

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Sunday, September 18, 2011

THE NEXT DAY - I’m on the phone with Mr. Boston Story



FADE IN:


EXT. A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE - PASADENA, CA - 10:07AM


So, I'm renting a modest Guest House in Pasadena from a guy named Dave, I actually new Dave from way back, he was an actor on TV show I was working on about 2 years after I first moved to L.A. - but Dave's a Blog unto himself, a working actor at one time who had family money which he concealed quite well, In retrospect Dave was and is a total dick, if you've ever seen the film "Weird Science" Dave is "CHET" but Dave would go to AA meetings to pick and screw vulnerable women, he would fuck them like dish rags and he could not walk past a mirror without studying himself for as long as possible - Dave was the older brother I never wanted and still don't. He didn't want anyone knowing he was a trust-funder! Anyway, as I said, we'll re-visit Dave allot because I was renting a place from him while this whole XXX thing was starting up.


DISSOLVE TO:

INT. MY GUEST HOUSE - PASADENA, CA - 10:07AM


My phone rings. I look at the caller I.D. and it reads Boston.


I pick up the phone and grab my iced coffee as I sit down on the steps of my guest house.
ME
Hello?


MR. BOSTON
I'll have 30 thousand dollars of my own cash to put into this
XXX thing by de end 'a da week, how many movies can
we make wit dat?...

ME
It’s a little more detailed then that…

MR. BOSTON
What da ya mean?

ME
Let me call “Splash”, my manager, I’ve known him for 9 years… He’s my manager, my consultant, my mentor, he's helped and advised me on anything and everything I’ve done in this
town that was worth it's weight in gold, and he knows everyone… I mean Everyone!

MR. BOSTON
Listen Ray! I’m not paying this Fuckin “Splash” guy
one cent!

ME
Relax, I'll call you back after I talk
to him, OK?

MR. BOSTON
Ray! I’m not payin anyone to tell us
what we can or can't do...
FADE OUT:


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The "License to print MONEY" Story



After the Dennis Hopper meeting I tell Mr. Boston, “Ya, know I also have this possible XXX investment opportunity and XXX yields way more money then the Dennis Hopper film could ever produce. And the initial investment is also much less money then the Dennis Hopper film.”
I hear Mr. Boston fiddling around with his phone - for some reason he always seemed to have AT LEAST like 17 things going on at once -- and then Mr. Boston says, “Tell me everything about this XXX investment?”

I say, “Well, I have this buddy who works in XXX and I’ve been working behind the scenes in legit Hollywood for a long time now and these XXX people do not tend to come across as the most forthright, intellectual, quick-witted and or intelligent faction of people but the XXX owner’s, the XXX producer’s and the XXX investors are making money while they sleep!”

MR. BOSTON
How much MONEY do you need and when do you need it?”

I click off my cell phone and say, “Why did I not get into XXX thing 9 fucking years ago?”

There is a very valif, true and real reason why XXX is the number 1 United States export.

1. Everyone watches XXX - No matter what they say! Men & Women & especially gay men & women!

2. When you’re pitching XXX the big question investors ask you is, Can I fuck the girls?

&

3. If you do it right - It’s a license to print MONEY.

FADE OUT:

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The "I'm here for the gangbang" Story



OK, so I pick up Freddy and we head towards Northridge to meet up with my XXX girl and so far - my ONLY contact with her - has been via myspace, dirty pictures she’s been sending me via e-mail & ULTRA naughty text messages. Now, I’ve lived in Los Angles for a little over a decade & I could literally count the amount of times I’ve been to the valley on one hand - that is until I got involved in XXX - It's like the fucking "WILD WILD WEST" out there... It's people who work in porn, porn agencies, porn studios, people who rent houses for shooting porno and on and on and on -- There seems to be some sort of invisible force field when it comes to XXX people and “The San Fernando Valley” because in my careful observation -- somewhere around the studio city limits at Mullholland -- XXX people will not cross over Mullholland. On a very slight chance - maybe - for ONE night of Hollywood clubbing but 9 times of 10 - they will not leave The Valley force field.

BACK TO THE STORY:Freddy and I are whizzing down the 118 freeway towards Porn Valley.
ME
She said it’s a porn house. What do you
think that means?…

FREDDY
It probably just means they do allot of
shooting there…

ME
Yeah, that makes
sense…

We pull up to the house and it looks like a modest ranch - it's all on one level and it’s relatively well lit and I punch a call button on an intercom system.

CALL BOX V.O.
Who dis?

And yes, I'm a little scared...
Freddy
(into the call box)
Ray Lazer!

The gate opens and we drive in - The driveway goes way back -- super deep -- into a guest house area with parking. There are 2 VERY specific types of girls inside the world of porn - the type of girl who is totally 100% bi-sexual - and these types of XXX girls fuck guys & they love it! - but they also love fucking super hot chicks - both on camera & off camera - the other type of XXX girl - is in NO way bi-sexual! These other types are only interested in fucking guys! I think that was a clear definition - on the 2 types of women who work in ADULT. There is also the hybrid T-girl but that's a whole different kind of animal - and we will get into the hybrid T-girl - in the very near future.So, we park the car, and start walking towards the patio. We hear: laughter - We Hear: loud banter - WE SEE: a large PLUME of smoke - AND THEN WE SEE: something that sort of bothers me - we see: 6 guys with my XXX girl - I see them laughing and playing and playing and laughing. You add my boy "Freddy" to the mix + me & we have 8 men and 1 female porn star at 1:54AM on a Tuesday night at a porn house in Northridge.Oh, If the rabbi could see me now - And if you have NOT figured it out yet - my XXX girl - was not one of those 100% bi-sexual chicks that LOVES SPORT fucking fellow super hot XXX chicks on or off camera - My ghetto diamond - well, she likes MEN! JUST MEN! and now, I can actually see My Hot girl - And she sees me - And she looks delicious & I’m just NOT really feeling super confident right about now -- she runs up to me - she straddles me and then SHE goes in BALLS-DEEP kissing me... NOW Keep in mind - this is the very first time we’ve actually met face to face & body to body. She looked fantastic and this was getting REAL awkward & very weird!
MY XXX GIRL
(she whispers in my ear)
Daddy, I'm soooooo WET!
I’m so glad you’re here…
c’mon, I want you to meet
the guys…

She leads me over to a throng of men - straight chill-axing on a patio with a patio table filled with narcotics, booze, ashtrays, cigarettes etc.

FREDDY
(to my xxx girl)
Not too many girls
here?…

MY XXX GIRL
Like 3 or 4 girls are inside doing a scene...

She interlocks her fingers with mine & leads me towards the strange men.

FREDDY
oh, cool...

The only reason Freddy was at this porn house in Northridge with me at 1:58AM - and the only reason Freddy was about to throw-up -- was because of me... -- Freddy was the fucking MAN! - he was a good friend and I miss him -

ME
(to Freddy)
See you in the emergency room bro...

FADE OUT:

STATEMENT OF CONFIDENTIALITY:The information contained in this electronic blog and any attachments to this blog may contain confidential or privileged information. If you are not the intended recipient, or the person responsible for writing this blog, any use, dissemination, forwarding, printing, or copying is strictly prohibited. Any and all information written in this blog is owned by the author of this blog.

The Dennis Hopper picture money meeting I set up


In the days that followed, the guy from Boston kept calling me; saying he had people who wanted to invest in the Dennis Hopper film. I set up a meeting between the Executive producer, myself and Mr. Boston.

CUT TO:

THE MEETING - NIGHT

The main producer brings the Director of Photography which made absolutely NO sense to me. We’re all sitting on a veranda, drinking, smoking and talking about the investment potential of this Dennis Hopper film. When the weirdest thing happened -- Mr. Boston gives his money pitch and for the first time in a very long time -- I get this sort of strange tunnel vision effect -- And it hits me -- If Mr. Boston is legit and he can bring some real money into the mix then why the fuck am I gonna utilize him for this crappy little Dennis Hopper film that‘s gonna tank -- when I can potentially use him for my XXX company idea. The guys who were pitching the Dennis Hopper film were wonderfully unimpressive and easily forgotten and this made me very happy -- because I was going to steer this Mr. Boston guy directly into the seedy and tumultuous world of XXX movie making.

FADE OUT:

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The "guy" who became my Partner in XXX


It was 2006 and I was a convention in downtown Los Angeles. I was on the deck outside smoking with a girl very pretty young girl / woman named Jaime. I’ve always had an affinity for younger women and she was 19 or maybe 20... Anyway - we’re smoking and we bump into this guy who looked and seemed VERY young. Way too young to invest in a film and way too young to be any sort of businessman. Anyway, I start talking to this young guy about Hollywood, Los Angeles - YADA - YADA -- and the guy would not stop eyeing the 19 year old chick I was with... At the time I was about to produce a very small independent feature film & we had Dennis Hopper attached in a pay or play contract. Now the way it works in "Hollywood" -- the land of lollipops and rainbows - is if I could bring other MONEY into the mix then my producer percentage $ on the front end and on then back end would become that much MORE... So, I’m talking to this guy who has a very thick Boston accent - that "Good Will Hunting" type of Boston accent & he’s dressed like a wanna-be surfer from Boston and I start telling him about the Dennis Hopper film - because I know I’ll never see this dude again…We exchange cell numbers - And this is the guy WHO would become my 50/50 partner in the XXX film industry.

FADE OUT:

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The information contained in this electronic blog and any attachments to this blog may contain confidential or privileged information. If you are not the intended recipient, or the person responsible for writing this blog, any use, dissemination, forwarding, printing, or copying is strictly prohibited. Any and all information written in this blog is owned by the author of this blog.